Psalm 51

For the first time in about 3 years I cried. At first I would think it was overdue... but on closer inspection I have realized that sometimes I need to only feel extremes in emotion when something important has happened. Today marks a new day. A turning point. My sins have stained my being, but my God is willing to erase the slate. My walls have been torn to the ground and I didn't even realize it until now. Now I can rebuild. I can now turn the corner and work to bring myself back to right-standing with God. Not because my desire for God is so great that He must comply, but His desire for me is so great that I must comply. He loves me so much that He is willing to let my trespassings come to light. If I am wise I realize that it is so I know exactly who I am and where I must remain in Him. He is merciful and always there when I come back to reality and come back to Him.

May this be your prayer as today it is mine.

Psalm 51 (NLT)

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

² Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

⁶ Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

⁹ Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

¹⁴ Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

¹⁸ In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

¹⁹ Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

My current fav.

My sight is through your eyes

I'm always running away from you
when I should be by your
side is where I should reside
but I'm always coming un-
glued to what I think is truth
instead of seeking your
face is red from disbelief
when shown your grace

Why is it I prefer to be blind
instead of seeking your sight
I know your love is more than enough
to carry me through this life
you are my king, my foundation, my God
I will make you my sight
to see through this world and all its lies
and all the ones inside

Oh yeah... I have a blog.

Have you ever had a conversation that left you feeling strange?
One with no conclusion?
One that rings over in your head 20+ hours later?
I feel like some conversations go in circles with no end in sight.
I know there is a reason why thoughts spark breathtaking conversation...
I just am getting to a point where I feel unsettled if it never comes to a conclusion.

Super Bowel... I picked the winning team :)
Yuppers, I am cool.
Or at least I use to be back when I was a cool indie music kid. ;)

I'm doing good in school! and it feels amazing. Finally it clicks. I hope I don't forget over summer break.

untitled

There's a reason for this season.
He came to give us peace.
There's a smile on my face.
My parents always saved my place.
Underneath this sweater
My heart beats slower in my chest.
There's ice hanging from the trees
My blood just dropped a few degrees.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.

My God you sent your only son
to a man who hates within.
Too arrogant to accept your grace.
Too weak to run His race.
Deep in my heart of hearts
I know you're offering the best.
Your hand outstretched towards me:
Sinner - forgot how to breath.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.

Lights on the Christmas tree
Fire burning bright
You are the reason...
the hope that makes hearts ignite.
A baby born so long a go
changed the world... forever known.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.
I'll give up my burdens
and throw them out of sight.
I'll seek the king
the One who makes things right.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.
I'll give up my burdens
and throw them out of sight.
I'll seek the king
the One who makes things right.

Oh, how...

I misunderstand myself.
You misunderstand me too.
How can I blame you;
You are just following my cue.
I know what I want...

You know what you need.
I know who you really are
So don't hide from me.
I was there in your mistakes
I was there __________ don't you see?
I know what your thinking,
I know how you are.
I see this ending.
I see this ending.

Colorado here we come,
run Bandit, run.
Colorado here we come.

Dear... whatever your name is,

You drive me insane! I look for you in the faces of everyone I meet. And somehow I still don't know who I'm looking for... yet I try to find you. Yeah, I've met others... but somehow none of them are you. How do I know? Well, it's gonna sound selfish, shallow and like every other thing that is attributed to the bridge breaker, but they are all disposable relationships. I know, I'm a jerk, right? Well, I hope you see through that. 'Cause the truth is, I already have a deep love that can't be broken for you.

Love,
whatever my name is.