The Olive Tree: {start of something new}

Here is Mina's blog. The Olive Tree: {start of something new}: This time of year is filled with new years resolutions; promises to be better, to do something great, to try something new. We make them ...

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So I have a few minutes before I rush out the door for work. I never update this thing. I guess I did over Christmas break, but it was just a quick idea I wanted to put out there before I lost it. Mina started blogging so that is probably why I am even updating mine. I'm not promising to update it more often... but it's a thought.

How great though art

The flames in the fire place are now nothing but glowing red embers.
The candles are burning down to a small wax nothing.
But here in the dark as the smoke makes a smell pleasing to the nostrils,
our prayers go up in meaningful songs of exhaltation.
How great though art, how great though art.

"The report is not good... your reflection is a beast."

I'm currently enrolled in what will be my heaviest semester yet. 19.5 credits, plus a job, and all the other responsibilities that come with life. Surprisingly, I am looking forward to this semester very much. Since this is my fifth year I no longer feel like a typical college student. Actually, I'm not sure I ever did. Nonetheless, this semester is all about classes and not college life.

One of my last theology classes is Christianity at Work. A coworker of mine, who attends Central Bible College, says not even his school would stoop so low for a title. Regardless, the course has my attention so far. Our initial text is a book called Character is Destiny by Pepperdine ethics professor Russel Gough.

I am only read through the second chapter, but I have to say so far the book has achieved it's purpose. It calls for self reflection. It probably helps that I have been doing a little of that already, but the book has been a catalyst for me to go deeper. Surprisingly, what I am finding about myself is not surprising.

I lack motivation. I was asking myself what it is I live for and it is not much aside from my normal roles of Fiance, Student, Employee, and Friend. Of course, like any person, I could use some improvement in all of those categories. But what I am most concerned with is my ability to give up on the challenging things.

With goals of getting into better shape, recording and producing more music, and saving for a wedding and married life, that is quickly approaching, most of those things to some extent have been mere ideas. As I read this book I pray the Lord to help me motivate myself and accomplish the tasks ahead of me.

My professor told a story of his college days. A story of when he asked a close female friend what she though of him. The friends answer: The report is not good. When he evaluated himself and saw a lot of talk followed by little action, he realized in his reflection was a beast.

One year anniversary!

Mina and I went kayaking today to celebrate our 1st year together. It was a blast! The day started out rather worrisome due to the fact that the sky was darkened by overcast skies. I was worried it was going to rain. Fortunately for us it didn't rain until we were long gone. It was a great trip and I can't wait for whatever else we decide to do!

...to never forget

Look at the trees. Oh, how they have grown... unlike the roots in my soul. The seed was planted so long ago... with a little water can you imagine, oh, how much it would have grown.

No fruit, no blossoms and no new seed to throw. Just a dried out seed... no roots have grown. Does new seed have to be thrown, or will a little water make what I have begin to grow.

THROW! THROW! THROW! Up from the ground. Let even the trees creeking be a holy sound. Fruit and blossoms from every branch. GROW! GROW! GROW! Down to the earth. Let the seed fall to bring an oh so holy birth.

My God, my God, what have I done to neglect your word to reject your son. My God, my God, what have I done to reject your son and forget His blood.

Oh God, my prayer is to never forget your son. To never forget his blood.

My sight is through your eyes

I'm always running away from you
when I should be by your
side is where I should reside
but I'm always coming un-
glued to what I think is truth
instead of seeking your
face is red from disbelief
when shown your grace

Why is it I prefer to be blind
instead of seeking your sight
I know your love is more than enough
to carry me through this life
you are my king, my foundation, my God
I will make you my sight
to see through this world and all its lies
and all the ones inside

untitled

There's a reason for this season.
He came to give us peace.
There's a smile on my face.
My parents always saved my place.
Underneath this sweater
My heart beats slower in my chest.
There's ice hanging from the trees
My blood just dropped a few degrees.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.

My God you sent your only son
to a man who hates within.
Too arrogant to accept your grace.
Too weak to run His race.
Deep in my heart of hearts
I know you're offering the best.
Your hand outstretched towards me:
Sinner - forgot how to breath.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.

Lights on the Christmas tree
Fire burning bright
You are the reason...
the hope that makes hearts ignite.
A baby born so long a go
changed the world... forever known.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.
I'll give up my burdens
and throw them out of sight.
I'll seek the king
the One who makes things right.

Complacent and dissatisfied.
Too lazy to get things right.
Unknowing to the reason
why I don't care in slight.
I'll give up my burdens
and throw them out of sight.
I'll seek the king
the One who makes things right.

Dear... whatever your name is,

You drive me insane! I look for you in the faces of everyone I meet. And somehow I still don't know who I'm looking for... yet I try to find you. Yeah, I've met others... but somehow none of them are you. How do I know? Well, it's gonna sound selfish, shallow and like every other thing that is attributed to the bridge breaker, but they are all disposable relationships. I know, I'm a jerk, right? Well, I hope you see through that. 'Cause the truth is, I already have a deep love that can't be broken for you.

Love,
whatever my name is.

The Heart (A string of random thought)

Content of heart.
Is it not just tissues and blood?
The heart is the basis of our living.
Why do we live?
This is why we attribute our hearts to desires.
It's the desires that give us something to live for/towards.
If Christ is "in your heart" that is your purpose of life.

Servanthood

Lately I have been struggling with some bad habits. I find myself doing the very things I hate. Today I realized how to change that. I need to serve. I need to serve others and hold on only to the things that are necessary for my survival in life and The Lord. We had a Bible study in Swift Suites the other night and someone said that the reason we commit most of the sins we commit is out of selfishness. When we give of ourselves we are filled with a feeling that surpasses any selfish desire.

Overwhelmed and confident.

So, these music classes are tough. They are killing me. I have to study so hard and I am still not at a satisfactory level. Most times when I would come to a tough thing like this I would just give up. Think about another major and go get the required amount of drop add slips. But I can't. Something inside me keeps telling me to try and study and that even if I don't fully understand this it'll be okay and the rest of the major will be all me.

I can tell it will too. Talking about the new studio and starting to mess with audio clips is beginning to be very fun. It's the technical side that I am realizing I am good at. Making music sound good. Using my creativity to give a song a whole new level. I am so excited for these next few semesters.

I just have to get through Music Theory... all three semesters of it.

Expectations

Cancel your expectations and take life as it comes.

A toast to old friends.

Sometimes in life we meet people who impact us more than anyone else we know. Maybe they bring out the best in your character, or make your day seem so perfect. Maybe this person brings out your intellect or gets you really thinking on a level that changes your life after every conversation. Sometimes you have a friend that brings all those things out of you. You have no clue how long you'll be able to keep the communication connection open, but you love every minute of it.



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Now playing: Pigeon John - Identity Crisis
via FoxyTunes

Back home

So, I'm back in Michigan, made it home at 11:20ish with enough time to drop off my tightly packed car, get in the minivan and pick my mom up from the airport. I'll be here for a little under four months. Will see how it goes. I couldn't ask for better friends here in Michigan or back at Evangel. I honestly could not choose one over the other. I am not looking forward to working at ABN, but unless I find something else with comparable pay... I will.

Well, just an update I guess. If any one here in the mitten wants to hang out, hit me up. You should have my number... if not, let's work on that.

Building a Patio

I've been trying to build my grandparents a patio for the past few days. I expected my brother to help me but he works everyday from 3pm - 12am; So, that killed that thought. The best part so far has been my grandpa. Living in MI my whole life I haven't ever felt really close to my family down here in OK, I still feel that way. But to have my grandfather, who's health is deteriorating, be outside with me to help my when I'm stuck and just be interested in what I am doing has been awesome.

He goes in for radiation therapy at the end of the month. Keep him in your prayers. I have really enjoyed my time down here in Oklahoma, but I will be ready to leave for the 313 on Monday morning. See you soon Michiganders!

Good news!!!

The skin they pulled off of my grandfather's neck was not cancerous. Just sun spots from being a hard working outside man! Thank you Jesus.

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Now playing: Cool Hand Luke - For You
via FoxyTunes

I feel like crap.

My roommate slept with his fan on Thursday night, he does every night. I got sick at the beginning of last semester from it. Yes, I know you can't get sick from being cold, but it does lower your immune system. Thursday night he must have had it on a higher setting or something. It was blowing right at my head and I woke up Friday morning feeling like absolute crap. I went through my day and things weren't too bad. Then it came time to sleep Friday night. He wasn't here so the fan was off. I slept for maybe three hours. AH! I woke up Saturday morning at 8:00 and watched some Man VS. Wild and fell asleep on the floor. I ended up going back to bed and waking up at three to get food and prepare for spring fling. I was feeling alright until later that night. We went to steak and shake then I came back to my room to sleep. I slept pretty well but woke up feeling so much worse than before. I don't know what is going on! Just pray I feel better fast, Finals are next week!

Zach Kidder surprised us with a visit this weekend. Joanna said a friend from Washington was coming down to visit and she was taking him to Spring Fling. I woke up to Jeremy knocking on my door Saturday morning. He asked if I wanted to go meet Joanna's friend. I told him I was sick and didn't think that was a good idea as I crawled back into bed. Then he said "okay, well I want to show you something first." Then the most amazing thing happened, Zach walked into my room and sat on my bed with me. Being sick, tired, and surprised I said something along the lines of "You got to be mess me." It was for real, Joanna Van Ronk somehow kept her little Zach Kidder Spring Fling date a secret! I wish I could have spent more time with him. He came in late Friday night and Left at 9:00 this morning. I have been sleeping most the weekend away thanks to this head cold or whatever it is.

AHHH!!! I just want to feel better!

Pray...

Pray for my grandfather; he is the only one I have ever known. The doctor's found that he had prostate cancer and it appears it may have spread. If what I am being told is true, they removed a tumor from his neck recently. I have never lost someone close to me. So, this could hit me pretty big, I think it already is.

Please pray for God's will in our family.

R.I.P. Chris Amore - Forever Missed

A guy I knew back home was stabbed to death. He lived in Detroit and, as judgmental as this might seem, was probably up t no good. I mean, if you are from Detroit you know where not to be at certain times. This was not Chris' first encounter with fights.

Not too long ago another kid I knew died. He was in a motorcycle accident and busted his skull open. He was from a well-to-do family that owned a popular steakhouse in Dearborn. He was one of the cool kids who made sure everyone knew it.

I guess all this is to say, why do people forget all the negatives about people when they die? Don't get me wrong I feel terrible that these people are no longer on this earth. I just don't get it. People who were terribly hurt suddenly have R.I.P. _____ _____ on their myspaces and messenger profiles.

Writing that I realized how insensitive I seem. I guess what I should be focusing on is, did I do what God wanted me to do in these people's lives. I certainly hope so. Chris was going to join Master's Commission at my old church; I don't thin he ever did. I know he loved his family very much, he lived at home with his father and two younger sisters and wasn't in the right crowd. He came over a few times to use my turn tables and bass guitar.

Shawn and I made a video in 8th grade on the giver. We acted the story out and made sure our "outtakes" topped Tony's group. We skated a little together but he always acted tough and like he was better than me. It just seemed like a defense mechanism.

All this to say I was able to interact in these peoples lives before my own pride and selfishness kicked in. I just hope that I was able to be who God wanted me to be and I didn't get in the way.

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Now playing: Burden Of A Day - Battle For Hoth
via FoxyTunes